About Ballarat Lending Service

The #Ballarat channel was founded in 1999 initially so people living in the city had somewhere of their own to come and chat.  Ballarat is the largest inland city in Australia with a very rich history.  The city was founded on gold during the 19th Century gold rush in Australia.

The idea of loaning bots to DALnet users germinated in this channel in late 1999; early 2000.

After the lending service commenced it was decided to move the process to another channel specifically set-up for loaning bots thus keeping #Ballarat fulfilling its original goal of being a local chat channel.

It was during the initial stages of setting up in the dedicated lending channel hat it was realised there was an urgent need to become bi-lingual.  Many of our “customers” were French speakers, which did cause some minor problems initially.  Our very first non-English loan bot was Mecanicien (Mechanic). To this day Mecanicien is still our favourite bot and also the most requested French language one. After 3 years it was decided to move the lending service back to where it all began, #Ballarat.  The reasons for this decision were many, none the least being full consolidation of the entire service which also culminated in the purchase of a domain.

Much is owed to Almozo without who’s invaluable assistance the relocation of the service would surely have failed, and to Ricochet (MovingShadow) for inviting Almozo to join the team.

This service is staffed by a dedicated team of adults each with a skill which we find invaluable in the smooth running of the channel.

Ballarat Lending Service operates a FREE bot lending service for the benefit of DALnet users.

All information and help regarding the use and application for bots is contained within the FAQ section of this site.

Microsoft God

Microsoft Corporation today announced its intent to purchase, copyright, and upgrade God Himself. The new product would be named, predictably enough, Microsoft God,” and would be available to consumers sometime in late 2004. Too many people feel separated from God in today’s world,” said Dave McCavaugh, director of Microsoft’s new Religions division. “Microsoft God will make our Lord more accessible, and will add an easy, intuitive user interface to Him, making Him not only easier to find, but easier to communicate with.”

The new Microsoft Religions line will be expanded to include a multitude of add-on products to Microsoft God, including:

Microsoft Crusades: This conversion product will bring all worshipper accounts and prayer files over from previous versions of God, or from competing products like Buddha or Allah.

Microsoft God for the World Wide Web: This product ties Microsoft God with Microsoft Internet Information Server, making our Lord naccessible from the World Wide Web using a standard Web browser interface. It introduces several new Web technologies, including Dynamic Salvation and Active Prayer Pages (APP). Donations for the poor can be donated via a Secure Alms Server.

Microsoft Prayers: Using a Windows-based WYSIWYG interface, this product will allow worshippers to construct effective prayers in a minimum of time. A Secure Prayer Channel technology allows guaranteed delivery of the prayer to Microsoft God servers, and Prayer Wizards enable users to construct new types of prayers with a minimum learning curve.

Microsoft Savior: This product will allow worshippers to transfer their sins to its internal Vice Database. After a preset interval, the product will erase itself from the user’s system and establish a clear line of secure communications to the user’s Microsoft God server.

Additionally, Microsoft is expected to announce a line of complimentary products for the new Religions line, which will enhance the functionality of the Microsoft God server product by providing a customized user interface. These interfaces will be based on popular religious sects, allowing worshippers to interact with the new God product in much the same way as the previous version. This line is expected to include Microsoft Christianity, Microsoft Catholicism, Microsoft Judaism (incompatible with Microsoft Savior), etc.

Competitor Netscape Communications denies rumors that it is planning to release a competing product, Netscape Satanism, that would attempt to render Microsoft God installations inoperable.